5 Blogs Before Lunch

The Rebranding of Willy Wonka

A trailer for the classic film, Wily Wonka and the Chocolate Factory has been re-cut.

Now more psychedelic an hallucinogenic than ever before.

"Come-on dad, it's only one pipe a day."

Nicknames of your Favorite Brands

1. Tar-zhay (Target)
   
2. Wally World (WalMart)
3. Mickey D's (McDonalds)
4. Whole Wallet (Whole Foods)
5. Needless Mark-up (Neiman Marcus)
6. Loud & Tacky (Lord & Taylor)
7. Northworst Airlines (Northwest Airlines)
8. US-Scare (US Air)
9. Four Bucks (Starbucks)
10. HoJo's (Howard Johnson's)
11. Golden Slacks (Goldman Sacks)
12. Taco Smell (Taco Bell)
13. FIAT = Fix It Again Tony
    

Please Stand Buy: The Patented Mood Relaxer

This video may be the most relaxing 2:29 you'll spend all day. Sit back, relax and watch the video from start to finish. Those downward brand awareness trend charts, the impending Board presentation and the budget review with the accounting department will become a faded memory.

Paris Hilton Response To McCain "Celebrity" Ad

Sometimes we at 5 Blogs Before Lunch like a little giggle. Consider this "the lighter side of 'Lunch'":

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Florida Man Calls 911 To Complain About His Subway Sandwich

"Hello, 911, may I speak to customer service please?"

A man in Florida who wasn't happy with the sandwich he ordered from a local Subway decided to call 911 twice to complain.

Police say the man apparently was mad because his Italian sub didn't have mayonnaise or mustard. Police arrested the man and charged him with making a false 911 call.

While not the most sensible approach to dealing with a lack of customer service, I can appreciate this man's frustration.

Source: here

Burger King Spoof: Bon Qui Qui at King Burger

I'm not sure if this is a hidden camera expose of Burger King or a MadTV spoof.

Gordon Ramsey Spoof

Gordon Ramsey, Chef and hot-headed star of reality shows "Hells Kitchen" and "Kitchen Nightmares" is the inspiration for this Caterer.com spot which spoofs his fowl mouth and grumpy demeanor. If you know Ramsey, you'll love this spoof:

And, here's the real thing:

Do you check your email from the bathroom? Maybe you are addicted to Email

According to an Email Addiction Study from AOL Mail, 62% of people check work email on weekends, 46% percent think they're hooked on email, 19% choose vacation spots with access to email, 55% of mobile email users upgraded to a new phone just to get email and 59% check email from the bathroom (67% apparently do this in San Francisco).

Here at 5 Blogs Before Lunch, we're guilty of all five (and we live in San Francisco).

Ryanair CEO Offers "Beds and Blowjobs in Business Class"

We're shutting down the ol' blog factory early this fine Friday afternoon. But before we head out to Crissy Field to run 5 Dogs On The Beach,  I thought I'd end the day with a little humor.
For all you marketing and PR flax out there--imagine having a client like Ryanair CEO Michael O'Leary. In a German press conference, O'Leary, known to be a little whacked, went way off-script, announcing "beds and blowjobs" in business class.

How To Market A Presidential Affair: Clinton Paramours Share Their Thoughts For $1.99 A Pop

Gennifer Flowers and Paula Jones have a new venture.

The women, known for their claims of sexual encounters with former U.S. President Bill Clinton, have set up a website offering what is being described as the lurid details of the encounters - for $1.99 a pop.The web site offers videos of their thoughts on Clinton, his wife Hillary and other matters.

It is a novelty play that will probably have some play for a short period of time.

It is unusual timing to market such a venture. Do people still care about an affair which happened 15-20 years ago? As Flowers and Jones walked down a manicured avenue to the Clinton Presidential Library in Little Rock and chatted with an interviewer from the syndicated television program "Extra" I guess the answer is, well, yes.